Wedding: Choosing to Have a Long Engagement

I can’t talk about being engaged enough lately. I feel excited and pressured all at the same time. It feels so great to not have to hide my reading of bridal blogs or looking at wedding dresses anymore. I’m engaged, so I can look at that stuff without judgement. (Shhh… I’ve been looking at wedding stuff since I was in grade school.) And lucky for you, I will be talking about weddings for a lot longer than I had planned… happily.

Before, I thought couples who were engaged for long periods of time did not really want to be married. I have long thought this, even before I saw the story of Pam and her so-called fiancé on The Office (see photo). If you don’t know the story, you can read a summary or watch the first seven seasons on Netflix.

Source: http://www.eonline.com

It made me think to myself, ‘How could a guy afford an engagement ring and then not have enough money for a wedding? And, if all they wanted to do was get married, a civil ceremony is less than $100.’

I have always told myself and others that I would never want a long engagement. Changing your titles just for the sake of doing so is not admirable, IMO. Honestly, I still rarely call Prentyce fiancé. It just sounds kind of corny and wannabe fancy. Don’t you think? I would always say, “What’s the point of getting engaged if you don’t plan to have the wedding for a few years? Just get engaged later on.” (Can you tell I thought a lot about this before? It is what happens when you have been with somone for years upon years!)

But, my outlook on engagements has changed and for many reasons. I didn’t get to choose when I got engaged. If I did, it would have probably in late 2012, but then, it would not have been a surprise. I think that people nowadays choose when to have a wedding and then get engaged after. It is backwards to me, but the modern woman can be choosy and fierce.

It means so much to call Prentyce fiancé, but we are not ready for a wedding. He tells me all the time that he could marry me tomorrow and that we don’t have to wait. I haven’t completely agreed or disagreed in regards to his proposition, but I would still want a wedding later on. It’s a personal choice, but I want the whole shebang — the bridal/bachelorette shower, the ceremony, the reception, and the honeymoon.

I’m so glad Prentyce got into his career straight out of college, but in essence, we (mostly me) are still broke. Financially, right now (or even within a year), it would not be financially smart to pay for a wedding. I don’t plan on having a Kardashian wedding, but I still want it to be a day to remember. Plus, I don’t want Prentyce to pay for it all. I never made him pay for our prom by himself and I’m not planning on doing so with our wedding either. And, most importantly, we are NOT going into debt for a wedding!

We are homeless, sort of, right now. We started looking for a home in September of 2011, shortly after we were engaged. It was his idea, but I wasn’t totally against it either. I loved seeing him on our days off, but I can only stand so much of Call of Duty and Madden on XBOX. (Ladies, do you feel me?) We function really well with these breaks from each other; I’m hoping that doesn’t change in the future. Unfortunately, house hunting was put on hold when I hurt my back. We actually did find a house, but on the Saturday that we were about to make an offer, our realtor told us that the house was “off the market”. It just wasn’t meant to be.

As much as I want a wedding, I know that a home to call our own is much more important. Did I mention nice homes in good areas cost money? Yeah, we have a lot of saving to do. But, on a positive note, we are getting so much help from our families in that regard. We are very, very lucky. (Thank you family!)

Lastly, my parents are still in the Philippines and I would never, ever get married without them by my side to give me away. Plus, I will need my Mommy around for dress shopping, cake tasting, my bridal shower, and all the other wedding activities/nightmares. They’re planning to come back before the summer of 2013. I’m counting the days…

It sucks horribly to not get what I want right now, but it would be dumb for me to think that at the age of 25, I can get everything I want without hard work AND patience. I’m no billionaire heir and I don’t gamble or play the lottery. I’m an awesomely regular person who will hopefully get everything she wants as time passes through hard work, dedication, & patients. Isn’t that the American dream after all? Plus, I was with Prentyce 6+ years before he put a ring on it… I’m pretty sure I can wait another two years before “our big day”. See you then! ; )

This photo was taken at our Senior Prom, 4/2005. Don’t we already look married?

P.S. Sorry that was so long! I just have to much to say about the topic because every week, I still get asked, “When’s the wedding?” I’m not mad, I’m happy people are curious, but hopefully next time someone asks, I can direct them to this blog entry! Hehe.

P.S.S. Did I mention how excited I am to be able to design, organize, and meticulously plan every single detail of the wedding with time to spare? Ohhh yesss! I’m in heaven…

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